DAY 85 - IT'S TIME TO FORGIVE
ANDREW MATRONE, YA MINISTRY LEAD
“Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” Ephesians 4:32
Do you know what one of the toughest things to do on this planet is? Forgive someone who has wronged you. We’ve all experienced this. We’ve all had someone who has wronged us or hurt us, whether it was by a friend, parent, co-worker, ex, stranger, boss. And every time someone wrongs us or we are reminded of the wrong done in the past, we are always met with this question in our mind: Can I forgive them?
Forgiveness is difficult. And usually, the greater the offense, the more difficult it is to forgive. However, forgiveness might just be the most important thing that you do. Not only that, but forgiveness is also a Biblical mandate. That’s kind of frustrating to read… Forgiveness is a biblical mandate? Did God not see what that person did to me? Does God not see how my life has been affected by this? God commands me to forgive?! Yes.
Here’s why… God is in the business of restoring YOUR soul and healing YOUR heart and God knows that forgiveness does far more for the offended than the offender. God knows that your soul is weighed down and overwhelmed by the offense and that forgiveness might just be the key to your soul’s healing.
SO HOW DO I FORGIVE? Because I don’t picture myself ever being able to actually forgive that person for what they did. I understand that. So here’s a couple thoughts:
1. YOU CAN’T FORGIVE IN YOUR OWN STRENGTH
Don’t let this offend you, let this free you. You can’t forgive someone in your own strength. You need God. You need his wisdom, his guidance, his discernment, his strength. If God has called you to do something, he’ll grace you for it, but you have to lean into his strength. “God, HELP ME to forgive!”
2. FORGIVENESS IS ENTRUSTING THAT PERSON TO GOD
Scripture says to never pay back evil for evil… never avenge yourselves. Leave that to God, for he has said that he will repay those who deserve it (Romans 12:17,19). We live in a world that wants justice, but sometimes we don’t get the justice we deserve, but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t still forgive. Think about this thought: Forgiveness is entrusting the offender to God; trusting that God will deal with them how he deems necessary. Max Lucado once said, “forgiveness doesn’t diminish justice, it entrusts it to God.” That’s good.
3. YOU DON’T HAVE TO TRUST TO FORGIVE
For some reason, we’ve been led to believe that if I forgive someone, that means that I have to trust them as well. That couldn’t be further from the truth. Trust does not need to be present for forgiveness to take place. You forgiving someone doesn’t mean that you now trust them with your life again. Not at all. It’s ok to say to that person (whether to their face or in your thoughts) “I may never trust you again, but I forgive you.” You don’t have to give yourself back to that person relationally to forgive them. It doesn’t make you a mean person, but what you’re saying is this: “yes, what you did affected me deeply, but what you did no longer has a hold on me, and it will never happen again.” That’s powerful.
4. REMEMBER WHAT CHRIST DID FOR YOU
This is the big one… Scripture says multiple times, “Forgive as I (Christ) have forgiven you.” You know the easiest way to forgive someone’s grievances against you? Is remember your grievances against God. Ouch… But not just that, remember how he responded to you. With grace, love, kindness, compassion. Christ is the ultimate example of forgiveness and we must follow in his footsteps.
Look, I know that some people reading this have had unspeakable things happen to them, so when some random pastor writes a blog and says “just forgive!”, it can be frustrating. Your wounds are deep and have been there for a long time. By no means, am I saying forgive and forget, you will never forget what happened to you. However, what I am saying is you need to start the journey to forgiveness. You may need to say it out loud a thousand times before you actually believe it and begin to walk in it. That’s ok. God understands. It may take you years to fully forgive, but don’t go another day letting what someone else did to you control your soul. Today is the day to say “God, I’m ready to forgive” and trust that as you move so will God.
Praying for you today!