DAY 105 - WHAT’S THE “WHY”?
Lauren Bohn, Campus Operations, littleton campus
“Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we boast in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.” Romans 5:1-5
Disclaimer… I am the mother of a teenage daughter, so I got the TikTok app so I could see her videos that she would post. Then PANDEMIC so I had all this free time at home. Whelp, sure enough, here I was, on my couch, by myself watching videos of the most random stuff. Like sooooo random. And before I noticed, so much time had flown by. There are so many other amazing things I could be doing with my time, but I’m down the rabbit hole of “How to prank your husband”, “How to do the renegade dance tutorial videos”, “Life hacks you can’t live without” and the list goes on and on. I am so embarrassed to even say this!!
I was allowing hours of the day slip through my fingers with social media, Netflix, and just sleeping. Then I would be so frustrated and disappointed with myself that I allowed it to happen again. Another day gone. I knew I had to make a change and ask the “WHY” behind the behavior as it was not like me to allow time to slip through my fingers.
Jesus so sweetly, started to reveal some deep seeded issues in my heart. TikTok was just a new avoidance mechanism… (because you know Facebook and Instagram are old news lol) And all the other distractions were still there. He showed me I was dealing with some underline depression that brought a heaviness that produced laziness. Then I would feel shame for the lack of motivation. And each day the cycle would repeat. I would go to bed feeling shame and decide that tomorrow would be the day I would change and never would.
I had to make a choice.
Would I be brave and take a look at the reasoning behind the behavior? Did I want to do the work it took to get out of the cycle? Admitting that I could not do it on my own strength.
The soul searching and heart check began. Bold prayers were prayed and forgiveness was given. Leaning on the Lord for strength and peace to deal with loss, hurt, and disappointment was necessary. I began to slowly get out of the hole. I started to see change in my attitude and my outlook on life improved greatly. When I invited Jesus into the process, then and only then, was there a shift.
Intro, to my favorite verse of all time. In Romans chapter 5, Paul is teaching us such a valuable life lesson. I have leaned on this verse more times than I can count. Suffering, discomfort, struggles, produce a Godly character when we hold tight to the Hope that is God.
I had to deal with the root issues before the character change would take place. And that refining is work and uncomfortable but so worth it. When you look back at the hole you were in and see the other side of Hope, you can’t do anything but thank Jesus for the underserved grace and freedom.
What is taking up your time and stealing your joy?
Are you willing to look at the “WHY” behind behavior that is not pleasing the Lord? Can you trust in the Hope that is yours to be had to do the work that needs to be done?
Prayers that you will allow the Jesus to reveal the root causes and that your suffering will produce character and character Hope. And remember Hope never disappoints!
All my love and respect,
A really good TikTok dancer in my dreams,
Lauren B